| Well |
[14 Mar 2007|09:36pm] |
I really thought that this was the only safe place to post this, and I really need to get this out. I needed to put in on something so that it will be eventually released from my soul.
God, I really fucked up by breaking up with Sebastian. I don't even know why I'm this emotional about the whole ordeal. I just don't understand. Normally, after Paolo, I haven't cared about any of my boyfriends, not really. But I fucking cared about him, and I broke up with him. I don't know why the fuck I did it, and now I want him back, but it's never going to happen. And the worst part is that I can't fucking accept it. Because I think that I love him, and by loving him I had to fucking push him away. Because I'm so fucking afraid of something. I said I wasn't attracted and he was too immature, but I thought he was handsome and I liked everything about his looks, and he always made me smile. And now, all I want to do is kiss him, and smell him. I feel so fucking low, and it's because I am low. I fucking love him and I fucked it up. God damnit. I wish for another chance, but it's never going to fucking happen. Great fucking job, Keaten.
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| Okay... |
[23 Jan 2007|02:31pm] |
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mood |
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 optimistic |
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Well, god knows how long it's actually been since I've updated this. Last year? Longer maybe? Let Keaten give you the Ho-Down in her life....
Well, you guys still remember me living with my father, in southern California..... I guess A lot has changed. In early July, I was kicked out and lived on my own until the beginning of November. I lived the really cool life of an adult, working 50 hours a week, developed a horrible alcohol problem, became addicted to cigarettes and a high school drop out. In the beginning of October about, I realized what I was doing in my life. In November, I moved back with my mom and am living in the San Francisco Bay Area, got back into school, and am doing really good. Well, what can I say? Things are getting swell, I have all As (Just taking Cooking, Health, PE, and Photo 1 until the end of the week.) I have a great future schedule as of next Monday(Fashion Merchandising, AP Econ/Gov, Eng 4, Philosophy), a great boyfriend (it started out kinda iffy and now I just can't stop thinking about him), planning to apply to SCAD even though I had given it up the last year and a half, am going to go to community college next two years because of the $$ Factor. I'm going to move back out and live off of school loans next year, and for the next four to six years. That's it. My life.
I hope everyone is doing well.
<3
K
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| I've Decided |
[20 Apr 2006|06:20am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 drained |
] |
I'm going to join the Navy.
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[30 Mar 2006|01:45pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
] |
It's funny, I check this thing, once in a never, and suddenly everyone is depressed.
I'm sorry for everyone who is feeling blue.
Some people I can relate to,
others I can't.
I hope you guys find peace, and become okay with yourself soon.
Thinking negitivly is only bad, and will distroy you.
It's okay, most people have to go to community college. 80% of the population does.
And, it's okay to get help. It Helps. That's why it's called HELP.
Being alone is bad, but you have to look around, and maybe give people a chance.
Things are going okay right now for me. I'm in Comp Animation.
Monday I have a meeting with Cal Poly for design.
I only have 5 out of the 20 designs I wanted to do this week for my porfolio,
people say I'm good, but that isn't going to help.
Monday, I also turn 17. Fun. I guess. Every one knows how me and birthdays go though.
Spring break starts tomorrow. Can't wait.
I have bronchitis. That sucks I guess. I'm getting over it.
I think that's about it.
No boy, No job, No life.
Compleate summery.
<3K
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[13 Mar 2006|10:52pm] |
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mood |
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cheerful |
] |
Classes for next year?
Already?
-AP english
-AP Gov/Econ
-AP Enviormental Sciences
-PE 2 ( I know, wtf??)
-Work Experiance.
Four classes four days a week, and then on my fifth day, it's 5. Yup. Pretty aWESOME.
ALSO
36 days untill I get my fucking licences. Hells yha.
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[10 Mar 2006|04:01pm] |
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April 3rd I go to Cal Poly for my tour. I can't wait.
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[16 Feb 2006|04:18pm] |
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mood |
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tired |
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Life is hard.
Sometimes you have to kick and scream and cry to get what you want.
And then the chances are still slim to actually achive it.
I don't want it to get easier.
I just want to grow a thicker skin.
Life is going to get hard real fast here. I don't think I'm ready quite yet. The idea of living, of truly living, scares the shit out of me. The idea that I will controle my life insteed of guidence councilers and mom and dad scares me. The idea of coming home to my home is slightly frigntingng. The thought that perhaps I'll get that indian influenced living room I've dreamt about for the last couple of months makes me shake. That a one room apartment makes me happy makes me want to cut.
I'm almost there you guys. I'm almost there.
This morning in the shower I missed Florida. I do. I miss all of my friends. I hate being so alone down here. I hate not knowing everyone's name. I hate not caring. I hate everyone not knowing my name. I hate how everyone is so superficial. I hate how no one has fun taking city buses. Or don't know how fun it is to bull shit at the Olive Garden, and then walk to barns and nobles and then go swimming in their underwear. I hate how no one has their own personality.
In other news, life is going pretty well. I'm doing that whole Un-Motivated thing again, but there's nothing new about that. I'm just PMSing or something. Well, Sorry that this was my first update in forever.
I miss:
Andrea
Nicole
Chad
Kat
Jeff
Megan
Mr. D
Michelle
And everyone else I forgot.
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[27 Jan 2006|10:55pm] |
Oi, in the words of nicole, I am such a dumb dumb. *sigh*
Anyways. I havn't done much work on my book. And Tomorrow I MUST go over to Bree's house to fix her shity ass myspace. Just kidding boo. I was waiting for my dad tonight, and I got cat calls by boys driving bye. I wanted to say fuck off, but I didn't have the energy. Jeez.
Oh goodness. I'm done for tonight.
<3K
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[26 Jan 2006|01:29pm] |
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I wrote another part of my book today during APUSH. I'll do it update it later.
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| Finally! |
[19 Jan 2006|09:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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happy |
] |
Finally, My Homecoming pictures are IN! Any one wanna see?
( Click HERE )
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[13 Jan 2006|07:42am] |
| [ |
mood |
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 irritated |
] |
What ever.
Your 3000 miles away, so you opinion isn't going to effect me.
You know, I really thought we were friends.
pssh.
Now I know the truth.
What-eva'.
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[07 Jan 2006|12:51am] |
Single
Have a job now
pictures anyone????
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[23 Dec 2005|04:50pm] |
I hate this... I feel so stood up. And it kills me.
I think he flaked out on our date today.
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[22 Dec 2005|08:46pm] |
I'm DONE with fucking flakes.
Done.
Done!
DONE!
My flake boyfriend has ONE more chance to redemption.
And then I'm single again.
Period.
Keaten
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[28 Nov 2005|01:55pm] |
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[21 Oct 2005|07:22am] |
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No one has ever, ever accused you of being shy, afraid to speak your mind or let everyone else around you know exactly how, why and exactly when you arrived at the opinions you're about to express -- at length. That's going to be the case right now, but, as per usual, you'll be doing it in such charming fashion, not only will no one mind, they'll be gathered around you, wishing they had more time to listen. Gosh. Tough to be you, huh?
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[19 Oct 2005|09:33pm] |
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I swear to god, I'm going to go nuts by the time that I leave this place. I now know why I left in the first place. Jesus christ.
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[02 Oct 2005|08:05pm] |
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I got a freaking part. hell fuck yha!
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